You are managing a crisis and you must take care of you. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) describes crisis management as distress tolerance. The distress still remains, but you are able to tolerate the pain with some skills.

Some say that love is easy and blissful - something we fall into without control. But if you have been involved in betrayal—on either end—you know that love can be very complicated and even intensely painful. Real love requires an enormous amount of courage.

You have experienced betrayal, deception or gaslighting in a primary relationship. You are alone. You are confused. Are you going crazy? What in the world is happening?

You are not crazy. Betrayal trauma is happening. 

Because of the power of denial, the impact of betrayal, and the fact that few people broadcast their betrayal for others to learn from, many couples question if their experience is “valid” or if it should be “considered a betrayal.” It can be helpful to know that there are many types of betrayal, each with nuanced motivations, behaviors, and underlying issues.