Combating Loneliness, Finding Connection
You are at a holiday party surrounded by people, yet feeling isolated. Your partner is by your side, but engaged in another conversation. Ever since you started fighting more, you have felt increasingly distant from them. As you look around the room, you see old acquaintances laughing as they catch up on small talk. What would I say to these people? They don’t get me. They don’t know what I’m going through. After two hours of casual conversation, you go home exhausted and feeling lonelier than ever.
Is this an experience you can identify with? Loneliness is not measured by the amount of people around you; rather, an internal emotional state. Loneliness is a sign that your need for deep and meaningful connection is not being met. Research shows that there is a link between loneliness and elevated blood pressure, coronary heart disease, and mortality (Xia, Huige, 2018) We also know that loneliness is associated with various mental health concerns including depression (Loneliness, 2022).
So… how do we bridge the gap from loneliness to connection?
Connect With Yourself
If you are feeling lonely, chances are, you do not want to spend any more time alone; however, experiencing loneliness could be a sign that you have been disregarding your own needs. Take some time to slow down and do something for yourself. Have you been too stressed to build meaningful connections? Consider taking a walk or a warm bath. Have you neglected a part of who you are in an attempt to fit in with others? Take some time to kindly acknowledge and express this part of yourself. For example, if you value fitness, but no one in your immediate circle does, you may have let that interest fall to the wayside. To reconnect with your authentic self, set aside some time each week to devote to your health like going to the gym or making a nutritious meal.
2. Connect with People Who Share Similar Values and Interests.
Do you have friends, family, or acquaintances in your life that share common interests and values as you? Do you feel understood by the people around you? If the answer is yes, seek out those individuals and plan intentional time to spend with them. If the answer is no, take some time to make a list of your top values and interests. Then, reflect on the list - do you know of any communities or groups you could join that share these values or interests? For example, if you value spirituality, is there a yoga class, meditation group, or church you could attend? Maybe you like to spend time in nature. Could you join an ongoing hiking group or gardening class?
3. Seek Help
Remember that you do not have to navigate loneliness alone. If you are still having difficulty connecting to others in a meaningful way, a therapist may be able to help support you in your goals. While loneliness is a common human experience, each person is unique and may need one-on-one guidance. It is worth noting that people often experience depression and loneliness together. It could be that depression is causing feelings of loneliness, or the opposite: your isolation brings up feelings of depression. Either way, it is clear that these two experiences feed into each other. Knowing this, you might consider getting the help of a therapist to brainstorm strategies on how you can break this cycle and cope with depression.
Are you experiencing chronic loneliness? Do you feel distant from your partner because of a lack of communication or betrayal? Our team of licensed therapists is well equipped to help you bridge that communication gap and heal deep wounds resulting from trauma. We also provide group therapy and workshops, to help you build a supportive community while you process various issues and learn new skills. To find out more about our approach or to connect with a therapist that is right for you, contact us for a free phone consultation.
About the Author
Celeste is a marketing professional who is passionate about making sure others feel seen and heard. She graduated with a Bachelors in Psychology, and is constantly learning about new research and trends in the field.