Dry January - Choose Your Own Adventure Style!
What’s the most asked question you hear once the ball drops, the last toast of the year is complete, and the confetti is swept off the floor? “What’s your New Year’s resolution?” This usually follows with some kind of visceral reaction from people. Eye rolls, a rambling list of ambitious goals, sheer apathy... At the beginning of the year, 365 days feels like forever. What if, instead, we took it month to month by creating goals in 28-31 day chunks (or 29-31, if it’s a Leap Year). Let’s start with Dry January.
Traditionally, Dry January refers to not drinking alcohol in any capacity for the entire 31 days of January. If the idea of taking a month to dry out sounds unappealing, consider taking a break from something else! Whether it’s binging one of the seemingly zillion streaming platforms that are at your fingertips, doom-scrolling on social media until your eyes go blurry, shopping until you’ve spent so much that your bank thinks your credit card has been stolen, or melting into your couch for a few hours after taking edibles, we all have our own versions of how we zone out and give our brains a well-deserved break. While it may feel good in the moment, these numbing behaviors can morph into something more harmful over time. Taking a step back every now and then can help us gain perspective on just how much these behaviors get in the way of living life and give us a chance to reconnect to ourselves.
This year, your challenge, should you accept it, is to do your best to quit the numbing behavior of your choice for the month of January. The best part is, since this is a choose-your-own-adventure challenge, you get to decide how you want your “dry” January to go!
On your adventure, be aware that you may stumble across some roadblocks. In preparation for the month, make a list of all of the moments or situations that you anticipate will make it more difficult for you to stick to your goals. For example, when I’ve personally done an alcohol-free or dry January in the past, I had to really plan ahead as my birthday is in this month. Knowing that this could trip me up, I planned as much as possible to leave little room for on-the-spot decision-making. Decision fatigue is real and when we’re presented with repeated opportunities to say “yes” to the drink your friend wants to buy you to celebrate, we’re more likely to cave in eventually. By removing the option entirely and committing to your plan, you’re not only ensuring more likelihood of success but also creating more trust in yourself throughout the process.
Now, ready to make your first decision? If you want to take a shot at giving up alcohol, go to section A. Need to cool off your wallet after the holidays? To give up shopping, go to section B. Doom scrolling or binge-watching Netflix might fill your downtime. However, if your brain needs a break, go to section C. If you want to quit doing drugs or other substances for the month, go to section D.
A: Alcohol
Whew...the holidays hit pretty hard this year! It’s easy to overdo it with so much celebration and family time. If you’re opting to skip out on the booze this month, welcome! You’re in good company with an estimated 1 in 5 adults participating in Dry January last year. You’re also in for a treat because while 31 days might not seem like a long time, you start to see the benefits of not drinking pretty quickly. The most immediate thing that people tend to notice is the lack of hangovers. To be honest, that alone might be enough motivation to take a break. Beyond that, throughout the month you’ll likely become aware of feeling more well rested, better hydrated, a decrease in anxiety and irritability, and, the most tangible benefit, more money in the bank.
If a completely sober month sounds overwhelming, grab a raincoat and make this January a damp one. Setting some guidelines for yourself and limiting your alcohol intake can still give you some benefits. If you’re the type who can’t resist a drink or two after work, consider limiting your consumption to just the weekends. Do you routinely find yourself starting with brunch and day drinking until after dinner? Try out sober Saturdays. Whatever guidelines you give yourself, just make sure they still result in a reduction in your consumption and not just a reason to drink more at other times during the month.
Still feeling a bit hazy? Go to the “Tips and Tricks” section.
B: Shopping
If you have your credit card number memorized from entering it into store websites with some level of frequency, this option may be for you. Didn’t get everything you wanted as gifts for the holidays? It’s tempting to jump online or run to the mall and buy yourself anything and everything your heart desires. Taking a break from shopping can give you a solid reset and help you reassess if your spending has been necessary or if it’s been more of a coping mechanism. A lot of people start the month off strong and start to slip as the weeks pass. To keep your momentum going, keep a record of how much you’re saving as you go. Every time you get the urge to buy something that you normally would, add the price to your list. You may end up being surprised at how much you’re spending when you really take stock. Aside from the savings, you’ll likely notice some other benefits as well such as more time to spend doing other enjoyable activities or a chance to shop your own closet and get creative with your outfits.
Maybe a total ban on shopping feels too extreme for you. If so, give yourself a minimal budget for the month which can increase your mindfulness of your spending without it feeling too restrictive. You may also become aware of just how often you get the itch to click the “add to cart” button and decide to donate some of the money you would spend to a good cause, rather than buying another pair of shoes.
Looking for some creative advice to add to your cart? Go to the “Tips and Tricks” section.
C: Technology
Gaming, binging TV, scrolling on your phone or social media... the possibilities of how you zone out with tech are endless. In the society we live in it’s nearly impossible not to have a screen in your face at all hours of the day, but at what point does it become too much for our brains to handle? Whatever form of it you’re most drawn to, make note of all of the ways it harms you. Even as I write this, I feel my eyes getting dry and more strained from staring at the screen for too long. If you take some time to think about it, it’s more than likely interfering in more ways than you initially recognize. If you weigh that against the benefits, which side of the scale is heavier? If the costs feel too high, it may be time to put the phone down for a bit.
A total ban on technology isn’t super realistic as we use it for so many necessary things in life. What is realistic is choosing one or two forms of technology that have more of a grip on you than others to either abstain from or set some limits around. Use your phone to your advantage and put measures in place to limit the amount of time you spend on certain apps by using app timers or blockers. If gaming or binging TV is your vice, try setting alarms to go off at random intervals to remind you to check in with yourself. Maybe halfway through the month, you start to realize just how much time you usually spend in consumption mode. This is when replacement activities that are more fulfilling rather than overstimulating, such as reading or learning a new hobby, can come in handy.
Need some cheat codes? Go to the “Tips and Tricks” section.
D: Vaping or Other Substances
Substance use in general exists on a spectrum (as do most things in life). Either you’re totally abstinent, have a life-consuming addiction, or exist somewhere in the vast space between the two ends. If you resonate with Noah Kahan’s lyrics to his song, “Stick Season” (“Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can’t face and memories are something even smoking weed does not replace”), it may be time to evaluate your relationship with substances. By using substances to cope with emotions or avoid problems on a regular and consistent basis, you’re doing yourself a disservice and robbing yourself of the opportunity to learn valuable skills to manage your moods.
Doing a sober month can help you practice being in touch with your feelings and actually learn how to process them rather than just stuffing them down or covering them up. Depending on how often or how much you’ve been consuming your substance of choice, you may experience anywhere from mild to life-threatening withdrawal symptoms. If you know you have an addiction to a substance or if you’re concerned about the risks of withdrawal, it’s always best to speak with a medical professional or trained therapist to help you through this process. If you’re not in the danger zone, it’s normal to expect some irritability or changes in sleep, among other things. Brush up on your knowledge about coping skills and think of this as a time to practice. Not only does taking a break from substances lower your tolerance, but it also helps you see the good things that can come from not using them with frequency. By keeping a daily journal or doing some mood tracking, you might be surprised at just how quickly you see all of the great things that a sober life has to offer.
Still feeling a bit lost? Go to the “Tips and Tricks” section.
Tips and Tricks:
Now that you’ve chosen and have started to brainstorm your plan of attack, the fun can begin! Our brains don’t like it when we take away something that gives us pleasure or provides us with some relief. Knowing this, work with your brain, rather than against it. By replacing what you’re taking away with something fulfilling and beneficial, your brain (and you) will be happier. Consider what function the behavior has been serving in the past and replace it with a similar but less harmful substitute. For example, if you’re not drinking for the month, replace your nightly glass of wine with a relaxing tea and your go-to bar order with a fun mocktail. Replace your TV binges with a marathon of reading instead. A classic replacement behavior for something like vaping or cigarette smoking is chewing gum. Keep it interesting and try a different flavor every week!
To keep it simple, here are some other helpful hints to keep in mind:
Enlist the support of an accountability buddy. This person doesn’t have to also be giving something up for the month, but by having checkpoints where you’re updating this person on how things are going, you’ll be more likely to stick to your goals.
To dig a little deeper, make two lists – one to note what you gain from engaging in the behavior and one that brings awareness to how it gets in the way of your life/goals (i.e. how does drug use impact your health or make it harder for you to pursue your goals). To take it a step further, use these lists to journal about your intentions for the month.
No need to give into all or nothing thinking. Find some middle ground while still reducing your behavior by attempting moderation over total abstinence.
Be aware of other numbing behaviors increasing as you take away substance or behavior.
To keep it interesting, challenge yourself to try one new activity per week, you may end up finding a new hobby!
To wrap it up:
To see how your adventure ends, check back in with yourself on the 31st! Were you able to float through the month with little to no rain? Congratulations! If your journey was filled with more storms than you anticipated and left you realizing you need some more support, schedule with one of our therapists who can be your guide for your next “dry” endeavor.
*Disclaimer, if you either suspect or know that you have an addiction to a substance, stopping cold turkey and attempting a sober month could potentially be dangerous. Always speak with a medical provider or a trained therapist if there is a risk of withdrawal from discontinuing use of a substance.
Does the thought of quitting drinking, technology, shopping, substances, or something else for a month seem impossible? Consider working with us. To find out more about our approach or to connect with a therapist that is right for you, contact us for a free phone consultation. Our team of therapists are licensed, experienced, and specifically trained in treating betrayal trauma, complex trauma, addiction, and rebuilding relationships.
About the Author
Katy Post is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Clinical Addiction Specialist Associate, and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist candidate. She works with individuals to support them through addiction recovery and healing from trauma.